Ears Wide Open: Nailing Active Listening – Cor Scheepers - Consultant @pm.ideas
Active listening is the ability to focus completely on a speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond thoughtfully. Unlike passive listening, which is the act of hearing a speaker without retaining their message, this highly valued interpersonal communication skill ensures you are able to engage and later recall specific details without needing information repeated.
Active listening is when you not only hear what someone is saying, but also attune to their thoughts and feelings. It turns a conversation to an active, non-competitive, two-way interaction. Active listening involves mastering a whole host of skills – from learning to read subtle cues to controlling your own emotional response. It requires both empathy and self-awareness.
Active listeners use verbal and non-verbal techniques to show and keep their attention on the speaker. This not only supports your ability to focus, but also helps ensure the speaker can see that you are focused and engaged. Instead of thinking about and mentally rehearsing what you might say when the speaker is done, an active listener carefully considers the speaker’s words and commits the information to memory.
Aspects of active listening
- Cognitive: Paying attention to all the information, both explicit and implicit, that you are receiving from the other person, comprehending, and integrating that information.
- Emotional: Staying calm and compassionate during the conversation, including managing any emotional reactions (e.g., annoyance or boredom) you might experience.
- Behavioural: Conveying interest and comprehension verbally and nonverbally.
Getting good at active listening is a lifetime endeavour. However, even minor improvements can make a big difference in your listening effectiveness. You are not a sponge merely absorbing information. Instead, think of yourself more like a trampoline that gives the speaker’s thoughts energy, acceleration, height, and amplification. Techniques of active listening Active listening goes beyond simply hearing the words that another person speaks. It is about actively processing and seeking to understand the meaning and intent behind them. It requires being a mindful and focussed participant in the communication process.
Active listening techniques include:
- Being fully present in the conversation
- Showing interest by practicing good eye-contact
- Noticing (and using) non-verbal cues
- Asking open-ended questions to encourage further responses
- Paraphrasing and reflecting back what has been said
- Be patient. Allow for periods of silence
- Listening to understand rather than to respond
- Withholding judgement and advice
Active listening requires decentring from one’s fixed position to be fully present with another. It helps people feel more understood and strengthens relationships as it signals a willingness to sit with the other’s perspective and empathy for their situation instead of singular focus on oneself.
Active listening as an imperative for senior leaders
Many senior leaders find themselves trapped in an ‘information bubble’ because employees are afraid of questioning, challenging, second-guessing, or disappointing them. They may spin information in a positive light to avoid tough conversations about problems in the organisation. If leaders walk around and see a bunch of smiling faces and say, ‘Gee, everybody looks happy to me,’ they are not listening.
Leaders must develop the discipline to listen purely for comprehension – without an agenda, distraction, or judgement – and actively seek input from all levels and ranks. Creating an atmosphere that prioritises trust over hierarchy means that ideally anyone can feel comfortable sharing information – good or bad. Signals of danger or opportunity can come from unexpected places, so they have to create opportunities and channels for feedback, make sure people feel comfortable speaking up, and be present and available to hear what they have to say.
Conclusion
Active listening in important because it keeps you engaged with your communication partner in a positive way. It also makes the other person feel heard and valued. This skill is the foundation of successful conversation in any setting – whether at work, home, or in social situations. Ultimately it shows respect and value for the other person’s needs, concerns, and ideas as the listener is actively signalling that the other person matters to them. Those who engage in active listening are seen as more competent, likable, and trustworthy by others. It is not just good for you and the other person; it also benefits the organisation. Active listening behaviours have been positively related to employees’ perceptions of support from their managers, which in turn predicts higher levels of job satisfaction and organisational commitment.
